nola jazz

You Know You're From New Orleans When...

sign

  • Your sunglasses fog up when you step outside.
  • You reinforce your attic to store Mardi Gras beads.
  • Your baby's first words are "gumbo" and "whereyat".
  • You save newspapers, not for recycling but for tablecloths at crawfish boils.
crawfish on newspaper
  • When you give directions you use "lakeside" and "riverside" not north & south.
  • Your ancestors are buried above the ground.
tomb
  • You get on a green trolley car to go to the park and a red one to the French Quarter.
green trolley red trolley
  • You listen to holiday songs such as "the 12 yats of Christmas" and "Santa and his reindeer used to live next door".
  • You walk on the "banquet" (sidewalk) and stand in the "neutral ground" (area of ground between a two sided street) "by ya mommas" (by your mother's house).
  • Someone asks for directions and you stop and help them with a smile.
  • You use a "#3" washtub to cover your lawn mower or your outboard motor.
mower washtub outboard
  • The horsepower of your outboard motor is greater than that of your car motor.
  • You are asked to name the holy trinity and your reply is "onions, celery, bell pepper."
onions celery pepper
  • Every once in a while, you have waterfrontproperty.
  • None of your potential vacation destinations are north of the old Mississippi River Bridge (US 190).
US190 Baton Rouge US190 Baton Rouge
  • You refer to Louisiana winters as "Gumbo Weather."
  • You get a disappointing look from your wife and describe it as, "She passed me a pair of eyes."
  • You greet your long lost friend at the Lafayette Regional Airport with "AAAAAAAYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE."
  • You sit down to eat boiled crawfish and your host says, "Don't eat the dead ones," and you know what he means.
crawfish
  • You don't know the real names of your friends, only their nicknames.
  • You worry about a deceased family member returning in spring floods.
  • You don't learn until high school that Mardi Gras is not a national holiday.
mardi girl
  • You push little old ladies out of the way to catch Mardi Gras throws.
  • You leave a parade with footprints on your hands.
throw
You believe that purple, green, and gold look good together. purple green gold
  • Your last name isn't pronounced the way it's spelled.
  • You know what a nutria is but you still pick it to represent your baseball team.
nutria
  • You "boo" the mayor on national television.
  • You like your rice and your politics dirty.
dirty rice duke senate david duke duke pres
  • No matter where else you go in the world, you are always disappointed in the food.
  • Your loved one dies and you book a jazz band before you call the coroner.
jazz band jazz band
  • Your accent sounds nothing like Harry Connick, Jr's.
harry connick jr
  • You can sing these jingles by heart: "Rosenberg's, Rosenberg's, 1825 Tulane;" "At the beach, at the beach, the Pontchartrain Beach..."
  • You ask, "How they running?" and "Are they fat?" but, you're inquiring about seafood quality and not the Cresent City Classic.
  • When a hurricane is imminent, you have a lot more faith in Nash Roberts than some Super Doppler 6000.
nash
  • Your town is low on the education chart, high on the obesity chart and you don't care because you're No. 1 on the party chart.
  • Nothing shocks you. Period. Ever.
  • Being in a jam at Tulane and Broad isn't the same as being stuck in traffic.
tulane broad
  • Your idea of health food is a baked potato instead of fries with your seafood platter.
  • You have to take your coffee and favorite coffeemaker with you on a three-day trip.
  • You have sno-ball stains on your shoes.
  • You call tomato sauce "red gravy."
  • Your middle name is your mother's maiden name, or your father's mother's maiden name, or your mother's mother's maiden name, or your grandmother's mother's maiden name, or your grandfather's mother's maiden name.
  • On certain spring days, Crawfish Monica is your breakfast.
  • Your house payment is less than your utility bill.
  • You've done your laundry in a bar.
  • You don't show your "pretties" during Mardi Gras.
  • You know that Tchoupitoulas is a street and not a disease.
tchoupitoulas
  • You wear sweaters in because it ought to be cold.
  • Your grandparents are called "Maw-Maw" and "Paw-Paw."
  • Your Santa Claus rides an alligator and your favorite Saint is a football player.
santa gator saints
  • You suck heads, eat tail, sing the blues and you actually know where you got them shoes.
  • You shake out your shoes before putting them on.
  • You don't think it inappropriate to refer to a large adult male as "Li'l Bubba."
  • You know why you should never, ever swim by the Lake Pontchartrain steps (for more than one reason).
  • You cringe every time you hear an actor with a Southern or Cajun accent in a "New Orleans-based" movie or TV show.
  • You have to reset your clocks after every thunderstorm.
  • You waste more time navigating back streets than you would if you just sat in traffic.
  • You still call the Fairmont Hotel, the Roosevelt.
fairmont roosevelt
  • You consider garbage cans a legal step to protecting your parking space on a public street.
  • You fall asleep to the soothing sounds of four box fans.
box fan box fan box fan box fan
  • Your one-martini lunch becomes a five-bloody mary afternoon... and you keep your job.
martini bloody mary
  • You're walking in the French Quarter with a plastic cup of beer. When it starts to rain, you cover your beer instead of your head.
beer
  • You eat dinner out and spend the entire meal talking about all the other good places you've eaten.
  • You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from New Orleans.

Mardi bar


You are probably from Louisiana if...


  • You've ever wore shorts at Christmas time.
  • You pronounce Lafayette as "Laffy-ette" not "La-fy-ette".
  • You learned to drive a boat before you could drive a car.
  • You know the meaning of a "Delcambre Reeboks" (that would be a pair of white fishing boots).
  • You offer somebody a "coke" and then ask them what kind: Coca-Cola,Dr. Pepper, Pepsi, 7Up?
  • You can name all of your 3rd cousins.
  • You plan your wedding around hunting season & LSU football.
  • You greet people with "Ha's ya momma'an'dem?" and hear back "Deyfine!"
  • When giving directions you use words like "uptown", "downtown", "backatown", "riverside", "lakeside", "northshore", "westbank", "down the bayou" or "across the river".
  • When you refer to a geographical location "way up North", you are referring to places like Shreveport, Little Rock or Memphis,"where it gets real cold"!
  • Your burial plot is six feet over rather than six feet under.
  • You've ever had Community Coffee.
  • You can pronounce Tchoupitoulas, but can't spell it; (also, Thibodeaux, Opelousas, Pontchartrain, Ouachita, Atchafalaya).
  • You don't worry when you see ships riding higher in the river than the top of your house.
  • You judge a po-boy by the number of napkins used. (Amen) You Got dat'rite.
  • The waitress at your local sandwich shop tells you a fried oyster po-boy "dressed" is healthier than a Caesar salad.
  • You know the definition of "dressed".
  • You can eat Popeye's, Haydel's and Zapp's for lunch and wash it down with Barq's and several Abitas, without losing it all on your stoop.
  • You "wrench" your hands in the sink with an onion bar to get the crawfish smell off.
  • You go by "ya-mom-en-'dems" on Good Friday for family supper.
  • You pronounce the largest city in the state as "N'awlins".
  • You can list all the ingredients of a gumbo or a jambalaya.
  • When you're in Baton Rouge you know the difference between the old bridge the new bridge.
  • You "make your groceries" or "save your dishes" or have an "icebox".
  • You can't think of anybody that can cook better than your momma.
  • You know what a nutria rat (Images) represent your baseball team. (Geaux Zephyrs)
Nutria (click pic -opens new window)
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